Lesson Learned
by DulceDulce DeLeche
Summary: Song fic. Basically agnst Rogue and Wolverine a lover's fight. Please be gentle this is my first fic. Warning character death. All errors are my own.


I don't own any of the X-men

Lesson Learned

_Well the truth it fell so heavy  
Like a hammer through the room  
That I could choose another over her  
You always said I was an actor, baby  
Guess in truth you thought me just amateur_

He couldn't go on like this any longer, it was like the elephant in the room that no one wanted to admit was there. He never said that he was a good man, just a man, yet somehow he had been cast as her great saviour. That he could do no wrong. For some unknown reason to him she had given her heart to him, and he had pretended to be it's keeper. Instead of worshiping it he had traded it for an unfulfilling tryst, that left him empty and dirty inside, and burning with sorrow all at once.

_That you never saw the signs  
That you never lost your grip  
Oh, come on now That's such a childish claim  
Now I wear the brand of traitor  
Don't it seem a bit absurd  
When it's clear I was so obviously framed  
When it's clear I was so obviously framed _

Looking back now Rogue remembered all those times when she smelt the fancy perfume on the color of his shirt. Those spur of the moment weekends where he just needed to catch his breath, that the crowded mansion was too much. Those awkward moments she would catch them alone, claiming they were going over class schedules, or some other class related work. Catching them sparring in the danger room in compromising positions, breathing heavily against each other. Still she had wanted to believe hole heartedly that it was all innocent. He may lust after the red headed doctor, but, thats as far as it went. She had given her heart to him never expecting much in return, believing him a good man, or at the very least an honourable one. Had she really been so blind and seen rainbows where there was only darkness. Could her own mind have betrayed her, she had seen the darkness in him but also the light. There was a place in him that was so good and noble perhaps it was just not meant for her to see. Had she tried to lay claim to a part of him that was not for her to share, but _his_ to give to someone else, apparently so.

_Now you act so surprised  
To hear what you already know  
And all you really had to do was ask  
I'd have told you straight away  
All those lies were truth And all that was false was fact_

So many times he saw it in her eyes, the doubt, the uncertainty. In those moments he could have sworn she knew, like it was on the tip of her tongue. And he knew that if she asked he couldn't lie to her face staring into her eyes. And she knew that too, perhaps that's why she never asked, just bit her tongue, and swallowed the lump in her throat and the tears that threatened to fall. He could see her putting on her most dazzling smile to greet him and know that it was just for show that any moment the illusion would be shattered. Slowly but surely he was stripping her away leaving her bare and empty, he was breaking her from the inside out. The walls were threatening to come down and shatter their world. Soon the lies would be too much and the false appearances would come crumbling down. He didn't think that either of them would survive but he hoped that they would. That maybe, just maybe there was a chance no matter how small. He desperately clung to that like a life line for a dieing man, for surely that is what he was. His body may go on, but he had betrayed his very own soul, it was like running on empty.

_Now you hold me close and hard  
But I was like a statue at most  
Refusing to acknowledge you'd been hurt  
Now you're clawing at my throat  
And you're crying all is lost  
But your tears they felt so hot upon my shirt  
But your tears they felt so hot upon my shirt_

It was there out in the open no longer were they shirting around the issue. There was no going back. She desperately tried to keep a grasp on what was happening she was slipping over the edge and this time there would be no hand out to reach for her, to pull her back. She always knew in the back of her mind, but to be faced with it was another story all together she was pretty sure she wouldn't survive through the night. There was just no going back, what was done was done. Closing her eyes, she desperately wanted it back, the illusion the farce, anything but this, this feeling of complete and utter despair. She could feel the walls crumbling upon her and struggled for breath. Her entire body felt like she had run head first into a brick wall. She briefly wondered if he could feel her tears through his flannel shirt.

_Well the truth it fell so heavy  
Like a hammer through the room  
That I could choose another over her  
You always said I was an actor, baby  
Guess in truth you thought me just amateur_

He never felt lousier in his remembered life, he could feel the pain coming off her in waves, and to know that he had caused it. That he had taken something pure and beautiful and destroyed it over a cheap thrill. She was drowning and he was the ocean treacherous and unrelenting, that took no captives and left behind only destruction. Was he destined to destroy everything he put his hands on. Was he no better than an animal that couldn't control himself, no even animals mated for life and protected what was their's above even themselves. He was like a solid rock that others beat themselves against, he was made to last and endure, while others broke around him, because of him, and for him.

"God dam it, is she so much better than me, is she" tears were streaming down Rogue's face. She whispered "I guess she is." Slamming the door behind her, Rogue made her way back to her own room.

_Was it you who told me once  
Now looking back it seems so real  
That all our mistakes are merely grist for the mill  
So why is it now after I had my fill  
That you steal from me the sorrow that I've earned  
Shall we call this a lesson learned?  
Shall we call this a lesson learned?_

Running the shower as hot as she could Rogue fell to her knees sobbing. Was her destiny to never be loved. Looking down at her hands, she supposed it was, they could kill with a single touch despite having control wasn't she still a monster inside. She wasn't meant to be like everyone else, to have someone hold her, and share tender moments with. Even the professor had not believed her capable of control. She had gone against nature in her quest. She wasn't meant to share life or have life beyond her own, wasn't that what her _"gift"_ was. Look but don't touch, or die literally!. She had defied destiny and reason, and this was her punishment.

Closing her eyes she tore down every wall in her mind, every barrier every door, and didn't they all came tumbling down. And along came the voices, whispering to her, telling her that she had to learn, _learn from your mistakes child_. She hadn't lost control she had given control up to those inside of her. And the strongest prevailed. Gliding through the air came the sharp metal. For a brief moment Marie screamed out begging, begging her to forgive. But how do you forgive yourself for wanting love. Wasn't even she entitled to that. Was she that different, didn't she cry, hurt, and bleed like everyone else. _No Marie, you must learn your lesson_, our kind is not to be loved. She didn't even have to move with a force she didn't think possible, metal met skin to bone, and she learned that yes she did bleed like every one else. Slumping over she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer, the voices grew silent and Marie was finally alone. However Rogue spoke out "I forgive you Marie."

Lesson Learned By Ray Lamontagne

Well the truth it fell so heavy  
Like a hammer through the room  
That I could choose another over her  
You always said I was an actor, baby  
Guess in truth you thought me just amateur

That you never saw the signs  
That you never lost your grip  
Oh, come on now  
That's such a childish claim  
Now I wear the brand of traitor  
Don't it seem a bit absurd  
When it's clear I was so obviously framed  
When it's clear I was so obviously framed

Now you act so surprised  
To hear what you already know  
And all you really had to do was ask  
I'd have told you straight away  
All those lies were truth  
And all that was false was fact

Now you hold me close and hard  
But I was like a statue at most  
Refusing to acknowledge you'd been hurt  
Now you're clawing at my throat  
And you're crying all is lost  
But your tears they felt so hot upon my shirt  
But your tears they felt so hot upon my shirt

Well the truth it fell so heavy  
Like a hammer through the room  
That I could choose another over her  
You always said I was an actor, baby  
Guess in truth you thought me just amateur

Was it you who told me once  
Now looking back it seems so real  
That all our mistakes are merely grist for the mill  
So why is it now after I had my fill  
That you steal from me the sorrow that I've earned  
Shall we call this a lesson learned?  
Shall we call this a lesson learned?


End file.
